One year later, grandmother’s death still hurts

Does anyone else feel homesick, or is it just me?

I honestly don’t know what it is but I just want to be home with my family, especially this time of the year.

I miss my mom, my nephew and most of all my grandma.

She passed away last year on Nov. 2 and I can't believe it’s been a whole year without her.

I remember it being the middle of the night and I got the call from my mom and I just couldn't believe it.

She was already sick but none of us thought it was that bad, her leaving me was the worst thing that could've ever happened.

I was fortunate to have her in my life for as long as I did but I still wish she was here with me.

Even though I have my nephew now, he still doesn’t replace the thought of her. Everyone always says that he's here now, he's a new blessing in your life.

That really irritates me because they're basically implying that I shouldn’t feel how I feel.

That I shouldn’t feel sad or hurt that she's gone but instead be happy because my nephew is here.

No, I'm allowed to be sad and in despair because I miss her and I know that she's not a phone call away anymore. I still talk to her but it hurts me so much knowing I will never hear her voice again.

But, I can say that I'm so much better than I used to be.

I'm at peace with what happened and I don't feel as sad or as lost as I used to be.

When I talk about her I still cry, but I know that she's in a better place now.